In order to achieve a reinforced relationship with our partner, we will have to set ourselves goals and consider what our strategies are going to be when it comes to taking advantage of certain moments.
A certain behavior will always be required of us in difficult situations and that is where we will have to measure up. When everything is going well it is very easy to love each other and stay together.
When things go wrong, whether due to financial problems, illnesses or other things, our attitude will promote the good course of our relationship or destroy it. We have always said that the best way to maintain a relationship is with good communication.
Love can end
On the other hand there is love, which can also end. When it will happen is difficult to know and we cannot wait because we will be bitter and we will not be able to enjoy our partner. Our function while we are together is to try to make things go well and for this we will have to know how to communicate.
When it comes to expressing your wishes or your feelings, you can use an aggressive style or be a passive that does not communicate anything. Both ways will not serve our enduring partner goal. The best thing is that you start by learning how to do it well and this will be with an assertive style.
Calm and leisurely discussions
People who know how to use this type of communication are the ideal ones to start a discussion since they will always defend their rights, opinions or wishes, however they will never harm others, they will take their opinions into account and they will be considerate of their way of thinking.
When we know how to use this type of communication, we will face a discussion with a slow and calm form of expression, we will always listen to what the other has to say, we will agree with them or understand them even though we do not agree with what they say. he says and, above all, we will defend our position; yes, without using aggression or threat at any time.
Our partner will not get defensive and between the two of us we can reach mutually beneficial agreements. You will get what you want in a calm way and your partner will not feel cheated or disappointed, problem solving and agreements will be used a lot since it is a form of active and determined communication.
Typical phrases that the assertive will use in a discussion will be:
"I understand you, however I believe "
You may be right but I still think that"
What exactly don't you like?"
This way of communicating will be the ideal in most cases, either when facing a conflict, or to give our opinion, or to make a criticism. And it will be the basis for the positive resolution of all conflicts that have to do with human relations. At the beginning of the sentences, interest is shown in what the other thinks, sometimes even half right, but throughout the conversation the point of view that interests us is always made clear by doing in this way that our your opponent does not get defensive since what we do in the first place is flatter him or agree with him. In a relationship with a partner, it will be the best alternative to solve problems.
Search for solutions
We will also have to learn to face the problems that arise in the best possible way and for this we must be clear about some concepts.
For example, when one of the members involves the other in decisions or problems that do not concern him directly and when the decision does not affect him, unnecessary and negative pressure on the partner will appear for the relationship. We will have to know how to differentiate our own and personal problems from those of a couple.
It will be important to differentiate a discussion from a search for solutions. They are different things. In the discussions, recriminations will be launched, the tone of voice will be higher and higher and the problem will not be solved, since the alternatives will benefit each member of the couple separately and on many occasions, said alternatives will not even come out to speech. However, in solving problems, options will be given that benefit both members of the couple or at least a mutual agreement can be reached.
